Getting back into dating in midlife can be terrifying. But don’t worry! If you’re scared, Unified Dating is here to help! Through our blogs and dating tips to our fun events – we share all of our inside knowledge on how to overcome dating anxiety!
Feeling out of your comfort zone with the thought of dating? In fact, so far out of your comfort zone that you can no longer see it? We know what that feels like, and many midlife daters also feel exactly the same.
Dating is typically a situation where people feel scrutinized, have to meet new people, and may fear they’ll do something embarrassing. In this way, dating only adds fuel to the anxiety fire. A lot of people get nervous before they go on dates, but, for some of us, it goes way beyond that… we experience genuine fear and get very anxious and upset when it comes to dating and relationships.
The emotional intensity we feel around dating really can create such vulnerability and discomfort that it seems ominous (or at least like something we want to avoid).
But why?!
The benefit of being in our 40s, 50s, and 60s is our clarity about what we want and our ability to overcome obstacles to get it; our wisdom and fortitude.
So, here are Unified Dating’s top tips for embracing where you are now and dealing with your fear of dating!
Ease yourself into it!
You don’t need to sign up to every dating app and plan a new date every evening!
You can start small and ease yourself into dating – or back into it if you’ve taken some time off. Take things slow and make sure you feel comfortable every step of the way. And remember it’s only a bit of fun!
Don’t talk yourself out of it
You’re bound to try and talk yourself out of it, especially if you’ve secured a date with someone and you’re getting pre-date nerves. Stop – you not only deserve this, but you know want it deep down.
We all experience moments of rejection, confusion, self-doubt, and fears of all kinds when we actively pursue love. Okay, fine. But you can use self-talk to deal with that, so you don’t let it stop you.
Remember that others are feeling scared too
You’re not alone in feeling scared. Your date is most likely feeling the exact same emotions as you! If you trust the person you have met, be honest with how you feel, and they should reassure you that everything is going well. Knowing that they are in the same boat, will help you overcome dating anxiety.
This is all new and you aren’t expected to know what it’s going to be like. But remember; change only happens when you’re prepared to take a chance on doing something different.
Acceptance
There is an alternative to being guarded. By focusing on one’s sense of self-acceptance and self-worth, it feels less intimidating to share with others. When a person feels good about who they are, their values and what they have to offer, and sees their own experience in a compassionate way, it bolsters them against judgment.
If nothing else, it’s about learning and growing
There are very few experiences that warrant a decision to stop looking for love. Every conversation, email, or date you have will be able to teach you something new about yourself. Like anything else you do, the more you learn, the better you get. In the worst case, you may not find your lifetime partner, but you’ll have a lovely and fun time looking!
Keep your eyes on the prize
Whether your goal is to find everlasting love or to simply enjoy dating and find a companion, keep focused, and try to shut out all the other noise.
Like anything that is truly precious and meaningful in your life, you can reach your goal with a little work and some courage!
Improve your profile
Make things easy for yourself by starting off with a great dating profile and photos that are going to give you the best possible chance of being successful. It’s not difficult to make an effort and stand out from the crowd. Unified Dating’s events give you the opportunity to show others your personality and characteristics easily.
Know what’s important to you
What are your values? It’s so much easier, and you’ll be less scared, if you know what you want in a relationship and that comes from your values – those things that are really important to you!
Remember these tips to help overcome dating anxiety. Dating doesn’t have to be serious if you don’t want it to be… go and have fun!