When it comes to dating, there are plenty of factors affecting compatibility. We scrutinise potential romantic partners on multiple things, especially when you first meet your partner. On how they dress, what movies they like, and of course, their Spotify playlists! So, is music a dealbreaker for you?
Finding someone with your musical taste can be an essential part of how two people come together.
Music can be a great icebreaker. It’s an interest that many daters share and look forward to discussing. According to OkCupid, 85% of daters say music has a big influence on their lives.
In fact, music is the most popular response. Above movies, books, and sports to the question ‘Which would you prefer your ideal match to be more into?’ with 37% of respondents selecting music. In addition, a third of singles believe a person’s musical preference is a good indicator of their intelligence level.
Why music shouldn’t be a deal-breaker.
Not everyone agrees that music, or any taste-based preference, should be weighted so heavily. Natalie Lue, relationship expert and creator of the podcast The Baggage Reclaim Sessions with Natalie Lue, says people often mistake taste with values.
“People think taste is shorthand for an expression,” she says. “It’s a trap that we all fall into as humans, where we imagine that the reason we’re really into a particular type of music is because it says something about our character and what type of person we are.”
Lue also believes that as a society, we’ve been socialized into believing that we can tell a lot about how compatible we are with somebody by the crossover of interests. This can include horoscopes, similarities in upbringings and childhoods and even past traumas.
How the importance changes at different stages.
Even though musical taste can play a role in relationship formation, it drops off in importance as relationships progress. When you are truly in love, little things like music don’t seem to matter so much.
However, in a distressed marriage, minor differences seem to take on greater importance. Couples mistakenly use those differences as evidence that they really shouldn’t be with each other. In other words, if a couple is getting along, they will tolerate differences in music and entertainment choices. But if they feel constantly distressed, those differences will become symbolic of the distress. And they will feel more unmanageable.
So, can two people who have different tastes in music still be in a happy relationship?
For sure! Reassess the situation and think, is this a big enough deal breaker to not give this person a chance? It is completely possible to find genres that you both enjoy. Or why not mix up your playlists at home?!
It doesn’t mean you’re not going to get along in a relationship and have chemistry or love!
Unified Dating offers experiences in which you can make real connections with likeminded people. Check out our dating events today!